January 26th - Insecurities about swimming in public!

Hey guys! So I weighed myself today (even though I didn't want to) and it turns out I'm now 196.2 yayyy! I'm extremely happy because I know that I deserved to lose that pound. I hope to be at least 195 by Sunday, then I will be able to record a 10 pound loss for JANUARY :)

Valentines day is coming quite fast actually! And I'd like to be at least in the 180's by then. I could be 189 for all I care and I'd be happy as a clam. It is definatly a goal I plan to meet.

As for my daily exercise today, I am proud to say that I conquered that fear of swimming in public lol (kind of lol). I know that a lot of people face this fear because of body image and let me tell you, I would be first to sign up for this group. I was extremely shy to wear a bathing suit in front of prince charming as well. Mind you, my bathing suit top goes past my tummy and I wore shorts over my bottom. I figure my insecurity is mostly because I'm not used to showing that much skin (no matter who I'm with) but also because I felt extremely big (yes, I was having a fat moment). I am a very "covered up girl." I don't like showing off any parts of my body. I don't do this because I feel a woman's body is beautiful and should be kept classy. I don't feel as though I want my body shown to other people and I dont like being viewed as eye candy. I find it degrading and disrespectful. ANYWAYS lol... I remember being 170 and feeling insecure about wearing a bathing suit even then. So this is something I need to work on. It wasn't until last year in march that I opened my eyes enough to see women who were over 250lbs wearing small bikinis that I thought..."why the hell am I so insecure about how my body looks?" It's still a work in progress :P
So prince charming and I basically woke up at 6am so I could go into the leisure swim...(the pool basically consisted of old people) I felt comfortable with people who I felt wouldn't judge me. 6 am is quite early, and I was exhausted after. I'm not sure if I can continue going at that time in the morning but I'm going to try very hard. I hope to go on Thursday or Friday again.

As for my roller blades, I reserved a new pair to buy on Friday. I got prince charming to look at them and he said they were a good pair! So I'm going to try them out and see how they do. They're about 80$ but I figure you cant put a price on health. And its something else me and prince charming can do together more often.

Ok! So Sunday I walked to the store I wanted to go to, Monday I roller bladed (fail) and Tuesday I went swimming in the morning. Tomorrow I'm going to try this new work out video I bought (ITS BY THE PUSSY CAT DOLLS) Its a work out video I bought for like 9 bucks. And get this... prince charming said he would do the dance routine with me so I would feel more comfortable :P That's going to be a fun time. Aw hes so sweet.

Anyways guys! :) Exercising can be fun! You just have to fit your right groove.
Take care,
Tishy205